Juju Jazz Kazoo

For Michael Horovitz

 

He’s gonna blow –

down low, and groan.

Got himself a

Membranophone.

 

No spider’s web

across a cocoa tin,

or spouting Juju

to suck you in.

And he’ll not cloak

his voice

through a ceremonial veil,

or hook some fear

to his tuneful wail.

 

He’s gonna blow you

some jazz instead;

try and wake

them spirits

of the dead.

 

The humble kazoo

maybe made of tin,

but it is a weapon

of construction,

and can win

the war for ears

and minds, and he,

on a shaman’s journey

above a towering tree,

will blow his zobo

and get you high.

 

Pull together the fruit

of the toot.

Get in a line

and shuffle your foot –

Make a circle round the cat

that hums the ’zoo …

and hoot, and hoot, and hoot, and hoo!

 

The Horovitz tone

It’s hard to beat …

but this guy too, can spread some heat!

 

 

 

Police Greeting

 

On holiday in Brittany

I met two retired police officers:

a man and his wife.

They lived a life of bliss.

 

We greeted each other -

almost simultaneously,

and it sounded something like this:

'Hello.' 'Hello.' 'Hello.'

 

Anyone would think

we were all taking the piss! 

 

 

 

The above poems are included in my new book: 'Isn't Sex Noisy'. Original Plus Publications.